Living with Depression

Depression can hit at any time, any age and anybody! It comes in many different forms, and different guises. I am 28 years old, and have been suffering with depression for over three years. It takes a lot for me to admit I have a problem, last year I went to the doctors, and he prescribed anti-depressants, but I didn’t want to take them. I don’t agree with stuffing my body full of chemicals, and I couldn’t bring myself to swallow them. This time, it got so bad I couldn’t even sit still, with out wanting to break something, to cry, to hurt myself, this is when I knew I had to do something about it!

You see, the thing is, I am just so damn happy! Nobody would dream I had a problem. I smile, and laugh, and sing to myself when there are people around. When there’s not, or if I think no-ones looking, then it’s a different story. There are several times I thought no one was looking, so I let my mask slip, only to be caught out.

The root of my depression is still partly unknown, I put it down to my fear of growing up when I was a child, although having my heart broken at the age of 15 also played a large part. I am also quite unsure of myself, so my confidence is low, which doesn’t help!

I cope with my depression in quite a different way to how someone else may cope with it. I tend to lock myself away with a book, or sleep, and just be on my own. Others like to talk to people, cry in front of people, tell others their troubles. Me, I would prefer to keep everything in, not to bother anyone. If you were to ask me if I were Ok, I would laugh, and smile and say "Yeah, I’m fine!" It’s nobody’s business but mine, and that’s the way I like to keep it. This time, though, my doctor suggested a way to help me overcome my feelings, without necessarily talking to anyone. Write it all down! So, that’s what I’ve done. I’ve written it in the form of a story, with the poems that I wrote at the time. when I was feeling down. This has helped me a lot, and it’s also helped other people to understand by reading it.

Many people will just tell you to pull yourself together, to stop wallowing in self pity, get out more, etc. What they don’t realize is depression is an illness. It’s not just a matter of getting up and out of it. You should talk, unlike me, and you should let it all out. Everybody needs to cry occasionally, and depressed people need to be allowed to cry. Don’t make someone feel worse, by making them feel guilty for crying, hold them, let them know you love them, tell them you care. Depressed people aren’t just looking for sympathy, they aren’t just feeling sorry for themselves. Okay, there are some people who are just feeling down, that use depression as an excuse, but there are some real people out there with problems that maybe you don’t understand. They may seem like nothing to you, minor things that maybe you wouldn’t worry about, but to them, they’re way out of control, and the future is black.

If you are depressed, there are many ways to cope, these are not cures, they are just ways that may make things easier -

Listen to some instrumental music. Look out for tapes, or C.D’s with running water. Imagine your feelings floating downstream with the water. Watch them disappear into the lake, and feel the lightness as they do. This works with all kinds of pain, physical and mental. This is called "creative visualization".

• 2. Find a hobby

Find something you enjoy doing and get engrossed. There’s nothing better to take your mind off a problem than to have to concentrate hard on something. Also, if you have something as an end result you can be proud of , it gives you a sense of achievement, and pride.

• 3. Go out

Take some time off, and get yourself out. Go somewhere you enjoy, somewhere that you can make yourself feel good.

• 4. Talk

Find yourself a good friend who will listen, support, and not judge. Someone that is not too opinionated, and will just let you talk. All you need a friendly ear to listen to you, and some friendly arms to hold you.

Like I said, there are many ways to cope with depression, none are right or wrong. Everyone copes with things in their own way. Just learn to be there, to listen, to support.

If you are depressed, learn to talk, to open up, and to trust. It sounds like a cliché, but it’s true, there are many things to live for out there, even in my state, I know life’s worth living, you just have to work at it!