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OK you ignored everything , rang up Dirty Den's Dodgy PC's Inc. and ordered the machine of your dreams, dirt cheap.
A few weeks later and it's arrived! Several big boxes and you're itching to open them. Hang On! Just be careful about the boxes. Open them very carefully and don't mark them in any way. If you have to send anything back, there is usually a £25 reboxing charge if the item is deemed to be not resellable.
OK it's all out on the table, but what's this little packet. Looks like small circuit boards - Ah!, this must be the extra RAM. You did put on your earthing wristband before touching them? - Oh well.
There must be a keyboard somewhere. Go through the boxes again. No - damn, they must have left it out. Never mind we can ring them up in the morning. Here is the number of their Helpline.
Did you really think that British Telecom was so big and profitable just because of privatisation and the nice man with the funny voice in the wheelchair? Wrong! It's because of Helplines.
Just think what it does to your phone bill when you listen to (their choice of) music for 15 or 20 minutes. Then think of all the other people around the UK doing the same. Why don't they give a choice - different telephone numbers for Classical, Country & Western, Pop, Rock etc. etc.
OK you're through to customer services, but they won't talk to you because you have not got your...
Ah well, its good to talk! Try again. Another 15 minutes of piped music, and now we're in business. At last, they give us a have a return number. All we have to do is box the whole computer up and system back and they will send us another one, this time with a keyboard - hopefully.
They warn you - whatever you do don't write the return number on the box otherwise you're lumbered with a £25 charge. Instead you put the number on a very easily removable label (so the box won't be damaged) and pray it doesn't fall off in transit!
Then all that needs doing is to call up a courier, not forgetting the insurance of course. You do have an account with a courier don't you?!? And so it goes on, and on and on!
The moral of the story is, buying from the cheapest supplier, does not work out cheap, when the machine goes wrong!
