Return To Summer 1996 Index
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History is supposed to repeat itself, but I'd never have thought such a thing as the reunion of the Sex Pistols would have repeated itself in such a crappy predictable way. In the late Seventies the Pistols shot to fame by swearing on the Grundy show. I can remember it really well, because next day everyone at school was talking about it, and I was pig sick at the time for missing it, still to me that's when punk happened, and it took over my teenage years.
I didn't see the interview at the time, but I saw it afterwards, and it's obvious that Grundy is milking the swearing for all it's worth, jumping on inaudible mutterings, asking them to repeat what they'd said, and looking shock horrified when he got the predictable swear word.
In the end it turned into some weird sort of challenge, where the band were trying their utmost to see who could swear the most. It all backfired on Grundy, like the self-seeking toad he was, but it didn't do the Pistols any harm, suddenly we'd all heard of them, hadn't heard anything by them though.
And now the Pistols reform, with an exclusive interview on MTV. Unfortunately they choose their much acclaimed VJ Toby, one of the most twisted little dirtbags ever to have appeared on TV. This man introduces Alternative Nation in a single spotlight with a solitary mike, whilst he chirps inanely about some minor fact about the next video. The implications are obvious, the little s**t fancies himself as a stand-up comic, he stands alone, distinctly offbeat, the lineal successor to Ray Cokes. (MTV's resident anchor man who, incidentally is funny.)
Toby is unorthodox, he often takes a sideways glance at the music scene. None of this is at all funny, or even mildly interesting, but it is very annoying, all I want to do is watch the next video, but after ten minutes of this crap, which I am supposed to find funny, all I want is the chance to ram that microphone, stand and all, right up his backside.
Still, that's why he's on TV, with no audience, that means no hecklers, hecklers, and more importantly how you handle them is what separates a true comic from some whiny little nerd who fancies himself behind a mike. I for one have stood with a mike in front of a crowd, and more often than not died in an extremely embarrassing and sickening manner, but at least I've done it. Toby would not get past the introduction before some honest citizen deposited a well deserved beer bottle right smack between the eyes.
So Toby interviewed the Pistols, the undercurrents were blatant, well they were to me, but that's all part of the pay back from years of ether abuse. It was seemingly blatant, that Toby, symbol of the new rock & roll, comedy is to vox pop the old rebels of punk, and what did he have to offer, that they were past it. They were forty, not young hip cool, and admittedly a complete pain in the backside like Toby.
This was all he could say, trying desperately to get a response after he'd been told where to go. At the end he waited until Johnnie Lydon was leaving, just to repeat the same question again. Johnnie told him to go or he would get a punch in the mouth, and Toby like the weasel he is scuttled off. Shame really, because it was at this point I found the interview had started to get interesting, never mind, the way Toby's going someone's going to smack him soon anyway.
The next person to slag off the Pistols was the delightful Rachel Williams from the Girlie Show, by putting the Pistols into their Wanker of the Week slot. This was the first time I'd actually heard of the 'wankers', normally the reference is totally oblique, and as I do not follow the catwalks with religious devotion, it misses me completely.
But not this time, Rachel Williams got up in some pseudo punk outfit and slagged the Pistols off for being too old, and for replacing Sid Vicious with Glen Matlock, as if this was some betrayal of original punk values. It's always struck me that those with little or no talent make the biggest noises about those that have talent.
It is bizarre that a group of nonentities who have achieved nothing but a load of crappy TV, think that their opinions matter, they can slag off whoever they like, and gain some sort of sick 'cool' status. At least Toby had the bottle to slag the Pistol's off to their faces, not hide behind a load of pretentious glitz. I
was one of the punk generation, at least Glen Matlock could play his instruments, all Sid Vicious did was teach us how to be a victim and die of a smack overdose. Somehow I don't feel this was the message punk had to offer it's generation.
I was never a real fan of the Pistols, I always preferred The Clash, but at least I listened to the music before I made that decision. The Pistol's still have not produced any new music. Iggy Pop, David Bowie and Eric Clapton are all still producing great music after their fortieth birthdays, and they don't get attacked for being old (Er, I think they do actually - Ed.).
I'm going to wait until I hear the music before I say anything, I am not going to let a bunch of talentless opinionated sad little jerks in the media make my decision for me.
(phew!- What a wide eyed loner on the gates of oblivion you are Duncan - Teched)
