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You may, or may not be aware that New Millennium has been hitherto a bit of a rag tag operation, there has been no corporate finance. We contributors have had to work for free, and Garf has been forced to use his cut from the Brinks Mat Bullion job to pay for all the electronics.
This has all changed, Garf now has the backing of people with real money. Even though he still cannot afford to pay the contributors, he has been able to equip Mike the Bastard with full urban assault kit, this has helped us all to send in the contributions on time. Furthermore Garf has entrusted me with the job of sending a special seasonal message to all our sponsors.
First of all we must thank The League Of South American Rainforest Loggers for their support, and for Garf's splendid mahogany lavatory with matching cufflinks. Also the highly informative leaflet entitled 'How to kick indigenous peoples off their land without having to pay compensation.' A copy has been sent to our friends in Newbury.
Special thanks to the British Arms industry who have now got over a particularly nasty peace scare, and would like to encourage all of our readers to spend their holidays in Mexico, whose government has done so much for us. We would like to remind you that for a token payment you can have your own souvenir postcard graphically showing you and your loved ones forcing chilli powder and carbonated water up one of the local peasants noses. This delightful custom goes back to the time of Columbus, and shows that we have not lost our sense of tradition.
Yuletide greetings to The Combat Knives Stabbing Association who unfortunately are suffering a bit of a rough press recently. 'I need my machete in case I meet some ignorant chicken sucker who needs his face cut open,' will unfortunately cut no ice with the police who now will require another explanation. Answer on a post card please, the lucky winner will receive one of Garf's naked back rubs plus as small quantity of cyanide, which has thousands of practical applications.
Finally it would not be Christmas without special mention to all who hold gun licences. The car sticker 'Ban ignorance not handguns' must touch all of us. For my part I can only say Give me a Kalashnikov, and I will ban as many ignorant peacenik hippies I can, and let the rest of us turn Britain into the Dodge City of the twenty-first century.
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL, except of course, Mr Goose - who has a particular dislike for the festive spirit.
